After transitioning from a long standing career with the Canadian Cancer Society, and most recently as the Education Coordinator with the BC Hospice Palliative Care Association, I completed the End of Life Doula program at Douglas College and have spent the last two years continuing my death education and contributing to the community as an Inpatient Unit Support Volunteer at Victoria Hospice.

I want to be prepared, not scared. Supporting my father through his dying process was scary. The burden I felt navigating the health care system and making decisions about his medical options and inevitable death, left me feeling overwhelmed, uncertain and craving for support. Should we try to save his life or let nature take its course? I knew what he valued in life but never talked with him about how he wanted to die. Death was never talked about in our household. Throw in the confusion of having five siblings who lived across the country, the days leading up to his death and the lack of knowledge about what the dying process looked like, were something I wish I had known more about. But as with all things in life, tragedy led me to a path of discovery, to learn more about how to die well and reduce my fear to talk about death.

So now I am saying the “D” words, Death, Dying, Dead. Talking with my friends, families, acquaintances and strangers. So far it hasn't killed me. Ironically, pondering death only makes me live a fuller life today, aligned with my values and the people that I love.